Timezones

Time never feels as much of an illusion as when you’re roaring away on an airplane, racing the sunset to your destination. You get lost in your own cyclic metronome, finding exhaustion has nothing to do with when the shopkeepers turn over the signs and lock the doors. Sometimes, I wondered, if you went fast enough, maybe you could beat your own mistakes. Your younger selves will look into these weary eyes and make promises to never end up like how you are now. Lids that cannot keep open, a head that won’t stop throbbing — how unfortunate it is that we sleep at all. I have been meaning to go to a sleep clinic, if only to rid myself of the nightmares that wake everyone up in the early mornings. But my resolve wavers in the very real worry, that if I lose these nightmares, I will lose you entirely. Their phone number is written in smeared pen marks on the back of my hand, but every time I shower, I make sure to rub it all off. While drying in my towel shaped hair and body, I scribble it back on again. These trips are making me too bold. I am starting to feel as if I have all the time in the world to change.